I dare!

After a walk on the beach on the Jersey Shore, I asked my mother-in-law in mandarin if she wanted an ice cold beer.

She laughed and said she wouldn't dare drink a beer.

I replied I dare you, I dare you! (Wo3 gan3 ne3!)

She laughed real hard. Because I had really said Wo3 gan4 ne3 (I F@ck you!)

Everyone laughed at my expense again.

My wife said it's a good thing I'm an XXL in Taiwan, otherwise I would get punched a lot when I try to speak Mandarin.

Mother's Day with CMIL

Happy Mother's Day!

Today we took CMIL out to Red Lobster for a Mother's Day lunch and we then went bowling. CMIL loved Red Lobster. She was protesting on the way over there that lobster was too expensive. We told her there are a lot of lobsters on the East coast of the US, it's not like Taiwan.

She really enjoyed her meal. Alas, I forgot to bring my camera so there are no photos.

I also made her my cast iron skillet banana bread for breakfast. She went back for thirds!



I think I may actually be bonding with CMIL through food. So far she likes all the meals and breads I've made.

She had fun bowling and was even laughing and clapping. This is not the CMIL I know. I really wonder if she is a clone. I really thought I might be going postal by now since my SIL has returned to Taiwan. I thought my wife would bear the brunt of all the nagging. Instead she hardly nags since SIL left. She talks, tries to play with the grandkids, is interested in trying new foods and driving through the area. She's even looking forward to going to New York on a day trip. (I'm definitely bringing a camera that day)

Did I mention that she has a 6 month visa and an open ended ticket? I'm actually not minding having her around. Maybe I'm the one on medication?

Am I Evil?

CMIL has an obsessive compulsive disorder. She will clean for hours and hours. You don't time her with a stopwatch, you use a sun dial.

She spent 2 hours cleaning the kitchen sink and then 1.5 hours cleaning the stove top. She also scrubs pots and pans over and over over.

How can I use this to my advantage?

Well Owshawng has been making quick, easy to cook meals that require 3 or 4 pots and pans. Tonight for instance, I made hot dogs, with canned beans and frozen corn. CMIL will then spend a great deal of time cleaning, them, leaving me alone for awhile.

If I was truly evil I would scorch them giving her something real hard to clean.

As a bonus my SIL was very happy with the meal. I've been trying to make American/Western style meals for her since she lives in Taiwan and can get great Asian food very easily.

How Many Monkeys?

Over the weekend my SIL was sitting on the couch looking a bit stunned at how much work it is to have two kids. I went to ask her in Mandarin if she wanted to have 12 kids. (Ni3 yao4 yo3 shi2 er4 shao 3 hai 4 tz?)

Alas I made a little mistake and said (Ni3 yao4 yo3 shi2 er4 shao 3 hou3 tz?) Which means "Do you want to have 12 monkeys?"

Need less to say that brought peals of laughter.