Man vs Lawn

As a first time mower (is that the correct term?) I've come to the conclusion that lawn care is weird. Where else do people spend tons of money and/or time to create/build something, so they can then cut it every week? Hair care maybe?

Mowing the lawn is also mindless. Although since I use a reel mower (there is no engine) it's pretty quiet so I can mow anytime there is enough light and not be concerned about disturbing the neighbors.

The best thing about mowing the grass is meeting some of my neighbors. No. not people, but the abundant wildlife. Rabbits have hopped passed me, deer have eaten grass only 30 feet from me (I asked them to bring back 50 friends but no luck there), a few male robins follow me around pecking at the freshly cut grass (I must disturb bugs), I've even come across salamanders hiding under leaves. And I get to hear all the birds from whipper-wills to woodpeckers singing or pecking.

An Offer I Could Refuse (Pretty Easily)

My landlord offered to sell us the place we are renting. I found this a bit amusing.

He had a list of statistics and kept throwing lines like "building equity" and "capital gains" and "appreciation". That I found pretty funny since I am a big believer that housing is way overpriced and prices are dropping and will continue to drop until owning a home is reasonable in comparison to rent(Disclaimer: just my opinion, could be wrong).

Now I'm sitting on the couch thinking "Why would I buy a house that I have no interest in renewing the lease?" Not only that but my monthly housing costs would increase 50% if I bought, I would be responsible for all repairs, and the commission and taxes to sell it would be more than 1 year's worth of rent, not to mention I just lost my job this month too.

He even told us the rental market is strong. I thought strong for who? I'm guessing us renters since i see places sitting on the market for 2 months or more. I could care less where we move to. There are at least 10 towns in the area I like and over 15 rentals that are nicer and cheaper than our current place.

I finally told the guy we are thinking of moving to Boston or overseas. I was trying to politely refuse his offer. I am not going to put my family in financial jeopardy over a house. A house is a machine for living. It's 4 walls and a roof. No matter how much you love a house it is impossible for it to love you back. If housing prices falls another 20 to 30% from current levels we may actually be able to afford to buy a house we would want to own. If housing doesn't fall more, we can keep renting, move somewhere else in the US, or move overseas again. It's a big planet after all.

Calling From The Toilet

Last week I answered the phone and it was my father-in-law calling from Taiwan. Eager to show off my improved Mandarin I asked him. "What are you doing?" Ni3 zai4 ga4 ma?

I thought he said "Wo3 zai4 da4 bien3, ahh." (I'm taking a dump, ahh)

I laughed and announced to CMIL what her husband said he was doing. Turns out I was mistaken.

He had actually said "Wo3 zai4 da4 dien4 hua" "I'm talking on the phone."

I claimed it must have been a bad connection or solar flares. No one believed me.

Banned in Chinatown?

Yesterday I took the day off and went to New York for the day. I was hitting the usual places (Korea town and Times Square) when I had the urge to go to Chinatown. Big Mistake. I thought it would be great to get some real bubble tea and maybe pick up a dvd or 2 to work on my mandarin a bit more.

After taking the train to Penn Station and grabbing a snack in Koreatown, I headed up to Toys R' Us in Times Square to grab some cars for my son. I then caught the R Train to Canal Street in Chinatown.

I headed over to the heart of Chinatown and went to a tea shop for my iced bubble tea and lunch. I drank a green tea with citrus flavors and eagerly awaited my meal. Suddenly my stomach rumbled. Uh Oh. If you have been to NYC Chinatown you will know how hard it is to find a bathroom, let alone a clean one. I thought I could wait a bit longer. Another big mistake, my guts started churning. I had forgotten that green tea mixed with some fruit flavors, especially citrus ones, violently disagrees with me. It was now or never.

I headed for the Lou. I was a man on a mission! Two minutes into my bombing run there's a pounding on the door and some woman is yelling in Cantonese. She sounded angry, but then Cantonese always sounds angry to me. I believe she was shocked and awed by my powers.

When I had finished round one I headed back to my table for my beef noodle soup. Almost immediately after I had finished, my guts started churning again. I looked around and the angry woman had her back to me. I once again bolted for the employees only bathroom to take no prisoners. Instantly there's more banging on the door and my new friend was now definitely yelling something in Cantonese. I was happily ignoring her and thinking she can pound sand since her damn tea had done this to me.

As soon as I left the restroom my new buddy ran into the bathroom. At first I thought she had to go, but no. She was inspecting my handiwork. She was checking out the bowl and sniffing the air. Deep, lung bursting breaths. What the?

As I was getting my change the woman came back and was yapping away very angrily in Cantonese. I don't know what she was saying, but she was not too pleased. Oh well. I guess I have trouble making friends.

I walked down Canal to Bowery St. to hit the DVD stores. I still wasn't feeling too good. I checked out a few stores, but didn't see anything I wanted. I decided to bail out of Chinatown and go back to Koreatown. (I like the Chinatown in Sydney and San Francisco, but the one in NY really blows in my opinion.) I went over to my favorite Asian bakery in the US for a snack and a real iced tea.

Afterwards I was wandering around and spotted a little DVD store. i went in and found they carried Korean TV series in korean and mandarin with English subtitles. jackpot baby! I have watched a few Korean TV series and loved them. the stories are great and as a bonus the English translations are far superior to movies and shows from Taiwan and Hong Kong. I spotted "Full House" a really great Korean TV series I had watched. I told the guy in the shop how much I had enjoyed it and did he have anything similar dubbed in Mandarin with English subtitles. He had a huge selection! I bought 2 sets of shows and headed for the train. It was time to get out of Gotham.

On the way back to Jersey I decided to write off Chinatown (at least the NYC one). I think the food and snacks in Koreatown are vastly superior. And with that DVD store I found selling shows dubbed in Mandarin, I have no real need to hit Chinatown again.
I also realized I hadn't left a tip at the Chinatown Tea shop. Oh well. I wonder if there's a poster of me hanging in all the Chinatown tea shops with a big circle and slash on it. Saying "Banned in Chinatown"

The Recession Hits Home

The recession in the US finally laid off someone I know and care about very much. Me.

I was notified this week that my group is being disbanded at the end of August and we will be laid off unless my firm lands another client or two.

I immediately redid my resume and have started applying for other work. I really hope to find something before I get laid off.

Ironically this is probably a good thing for me. It is forcing me to go look for a better job. This is also causing us to put our house buying on hold for another year. As the housing bubble unwinds there are now houses we could afford to buy that we would actually want to live in. I think the housing market will continue to drop at least another 10%, so we should be able to buy a nicer house for less money then the houses we were looking at last week.

PS: I hang out a lot at a forum called njrereport.com under the name bairen. It's a housing bubble forum where people wonder how bad the economy will get, make inciteful,and funny comments about the bozos in government and banking that have created this mess.

I dare!

After a walk on the beach on the Jersey Shore, I asked my mother-in-law in mandarin if she wanted an ice cold beer.

She laughed and said she wouldn't dare drink a beer.

I replied I dare you, I dare you! (Wo3 gan3 ne3!)

She laughed real hard. Because I had really said Wo3 gan4 ne3 (I F@ck you!)

Everyone laughed at my expense again.

My wife said it's a good thing I'm an XXL in Taiwan, otherwise I would get punched a lot when I try to speak Mandarin.

How Many Monkeys?

Over the weekend my SIL was sitting on the couch looking a bit stunned at how much work it is to have two kids. I went to ask her in Mandarin if she wanted to have 12 kids. (Ni3 yao4 yo3 shi2 er4 shao 3 hai 4 tz?)

Alas I made a little mistake and said (Ni3 yao4 yo3 shi2 er4 shao 3 hou3 tz?) Which means "Do you want to have 12 monkeys?"

Need less to say that brought peals of laughter.